Wow! I cannot believe JAST* is still alive and well (again, huge shout-out to my mom for being my #1, and only, reader out there).

A lot has changed since my last installment, which looking back was just after the first peak of COVID-19. Here we are two years later and we are still finding our way through this pandemic mess. The supply chain is still slow and businesses are still effected. You know what wasn’t effected though? My love for my (then boyfriend) husband, and now toilet paper is finally starting to be restocked on store shelves!

Terrible segue? I agree, but listen. I’m breaking the rust off this old writing brain.

Don’t Scream, I’m Gonna Talk About 2020

While 2020 brought a lot of anxiety into the world paired with the most dramatic** United States political election I’ve ever witnessed, it was a blessing of a year for my family. My husband and I were able to get married in 2020 with just immediate family in attendance. While it wasn’t the wedding we were planning, it was the perfect reminder that a marriage is more than just a wedding (you’re welcome for that one liner. I know you’ll use it). Don’t worry, we did have our ‘fancy’ ceremony – or as my father called it, the “wearing of the dress” –  in April 2021.

After getting (legally) marriage in June, we were able to purchase our first home in October 2020. Thanks to the pandemic, the housing market was very unpredictable in 2020 and we were able to actually afford a home. Again, another blessing in disguise.

Phew…Now Onto 2021

As 2021 brought us new hope, we realized it wouldn’t be much different from 2020. COVID-19 was still around, new variants were starting to spread, and ironically, the most dramatic*** political election seemed to still linger in the background.

In a much different sense, my husband and I were thankful 2021 was like 2020 because we had another life blessing headed our way as we found out we were expecting our first child!

As the hysteria over COVID-19 started to slow down, and my hormones ramped up and I experience, single-handedly, the most magical thing in life: pregnancy. Boy, do I have a lot of shower thoughts about pregnancy.

While I love writing about random shower thoughts, I find myself thinking about other things now too; parenthood, my son, parenthood, chocolate, parenthood, and oh yeah, my son.

With that said, buckle in for a while shift of blog content. Not only will I dabble into random, but VERY important, discussions, I will also dabble in my journey through parenthood, raising a son, and making it all come together. Will you join me?

-EG

*JAST = Just a Shower Thought. Are acronyms cool anymore? I hope so.

**This was me channeling my inner Chris Harrison (may he RIP as the former host of The Bachelor franchise). All my non-bachelor watchers, please ignore.

***Again, channeling my inner Chris Harrison. Maybe I just really want to be the host of The Bachelor? ABC, call me.

Happy May!  *insert Justin Timberlake meme*

Will that joke ever get old? Yes, it already is. Will I never stop using it? Probably not.  Is it also the end of May? Yes it is. Whatever.

As we all continue to try to avoid accepting the current status of the world, I figured I could entertain* all my readers with a story (shout out to my mom for being my reader). I used to work at a retirement community in their activities department. By far it was one of the best jobs I’ve had. Now I know what you’re picturing after reading ‘retirement community’. You pictured a mothball smelling bingo room and an elderly people crossing sign like this one.

Well you’re not wrong. But you are wrong. The retirement community I worked at was in Broomfield, Colorado. Every resident had their own house and there weren’t any nurses or medication schedules we had to follow. We liked to call ourself an Active Adult Community. Which, realistically, was a cheap cop-out for not naming ourselves a retirement community.

I worked with the activities department – or Lifestyle team. We would plan events for the residents to attend. Our events consisted of sock hops, ballroom dance nights, summer concert series, New Year’s Eve parties, and many more. Our residents loved a good $5 ticket for events where they could enjoy adult beverages (more than you’d expect) and hang out with their fellow retirees. A brief detail I should mention is grandchildren, or anyone under the age of 18 for that matter, were not allowed to be in our recreation center or attend any events or club gatherings. We had designated days and times that minors could come and enjoy our pool.

When I first got a job at this retirement community, a lot of people would tease me about working with “old people” and working in the “old folks home.” However, working there allowed me to appreciate and gain a new perspective of life. The residents were so excited to be achieving new goals during their retirement that it showed me you can set multiple life goals as you age.

Those residents never believed they were too old to try anything new, pursue a new hobby, or get back into the dating pool. Yes. There was A LOT of dating going on. It was very refreshing to be surrounded by people who wanted to continue to live their best life no matter what age they are.

After 2.5 years, I started applying for new jobs. Upon my departure, the residents continued to remind me that change in life is difficult but it’s worth it and it is needed. I am very thankful for the support I received (and continue to receive) from the residents. I will always treasure that job because of the connections I made and the love and support I experienced.

I think back on that job a lot. The biggest thing that sticks with me is even though I was the youngest employee and person in the building, working at the retirement community made my heart young.

Cheers to all my “elderly” folk out there. Stay young and stay hip!

-EG

*Maybe it was asking a lot of you to be entertained by this…but were you entertained?

Oh hello and welcome to final inSTALLment (see what I did there?) of the public restrooms series.

My last thought doesn’t necessarily involve the toilet or using the restroom, but rather using toilet paper incorrectly.

Are you thinking: How does one use toilet paper incorrectly? Is that possible?
YES. It is. Six words: Using toilet paper as tissue.

That is so so gross to me.* Why? Oh, I don’t know because toilet paper is meant for your BUM?! You don’t see me using paper towels as tissue paper. I’m not using tissues as toilet paper–although that would be gross because tissues are very thin.

It is not a two way street.

Now, I understand that sometimes you are desperate to blow your nose, but I cannot physically use toilet paper to blow my nose. If I am caught without a tissue, I embrace the drainage and let it drip on my sleeve before I use toilet paper. Cute, right? I’m taken…sorry, boys.

Anyone who uses toilet paper as tissue, please prove me wrong. Please prove to me that it never crosses your mind that you’re using butt paper on your face. I’ll know you’re lying but I want to see you try not convince me otherwise.

Now I have to stop thinking about this or I am going to gag.**

-EG

*Gross enough that I had to underline my second “so”
**Have you caught onto my melodramatic-ness?

Contrary to the title…no, this is not a Thanksgiving themed blog.

So it’s not Thanksgiving or November for that fact…how do I know? No pumpkin spice. Thank god. But what month is it? December? No, The Carpenters are not playing on my Pandora…again, THANK GOD. What day is it? It can’t be the weekend cause I logged into my work computer today…I know that in about 6 days the state of Colorado will be “free” from stay-at-home orders. Free to go to businesses that might be open, but have restricted access. Can it be? Is it May?

*insert copyright free picture of Justin Timberlake*

I, for one, feel lucky to have had all this time at home. Yes, working from home and not being able to leave the house can cause you get a bit stir crazy but what’s life without a little crazy?! This time at home has given me a new hope of a new normal. A new normal of spending more time with family and being outside (I say as I write a digital blog. Go figure). A new normal of trying new recipes and enjoying home cooked meals. A new, more wholesome normal. I hope I can continue this years after we are “back to normal.”

For right now, as times are uncertain, these are a few of the things I am most thankful for that quarantine has brought to my attention:

1. My ability to find joy in the small things. Whether it’s baking a loaf of banana bread, trying a new bread recipe, or rewatching movies I enjoyed when I was little, these things remind me that the simple things in life make you happy.
2. Being able to have a job. I am lucky to have still been able to work from home when a lot of people couldn’t. Even though I know this job is not my career and I don’t think I will be in this position years in the future, I am thankful for the skills it has presented me and the ability to stay safe as well as an income to keep us afloat.
3. More time with my fiancé. Yes, we live together, and yes, we are still getting married even after all this time together. It’s interesting to see someone in all the facets of their life. I love seeing and experiencing what makes people tick in the workplace and outside of the workplace. After seeing him experience the same emotions I do (hate work, then love work, want to quit, then wanting to stay in that job forever), it’s a nice reminder that I am not alone. We have had some really good talks about what we like and dislike about our current jobs and what our ideal job would look like. We’ve also learned a lot about each other and how our brains function depending on what our talents are. He is very analytical and data driven. I am very socially driven and need social interaction. That’s not always the best combination when he’s trying to focus and I’m sharing a funny story, but we are learning more about communication…and I am really starting to pick up on some non-verbals he throws out there. I GET IT, I’M ANNOYING YOU.
4. The sunshine. This has been a huge factor in my productivity. Like most people, I am fueled by the sun and when it’s nice outside I am more driven to work, plan, and be excited. Maybe it’s because I am working towards a plan of going outside…but either way, the sun changes things.
5. At home workouts. Working out was a huge part of my routine before the gym closed down. Luckily, I have found a way to keep my usual workouts in my routine. Like the sun, working out changes things for me. It sets my day up right and I feel like that’s the one thing I can control. I don’t have to think about anything while I workout. It’s a deep breath for my brain and I’m all about it.
6. This blog. It might sound cheesy, but I am thankful I have a place where I can write my thoughts down. Even if no one reads this, and it doesn’t become what I want it to become, this is another deep breath for my brain. Writing feeds my soul and it’s what I truly like to do. This blog allows me to do what I really like to do because I want to do it and is a great escape from world troubles and work stresses.
7. Technology. I know we are lucky to have technology keeping us so close. I am very thankful to have ways of communication even without being face to face with someone. Technology has also allowed me to reconnect with old friends and check in on them. Keeping somewhat of a normal social life is very important but I would just like to say, THANK GOD I can still talk to my mom every day!

Even though the world seems a little discombobulated and unsure right now, I think this time has been good for everyone to take a step back from what their lives used to be like and focus on new things. Even Mother Nature is being refreshed during this time which is long overdue.

There you have it. I’ve made a list of things I’m thankful for, I have baked my own bread and mastered a few new recipes. I have a Pinterest account and use it for inspiration. Oh god. I’m walking out of this quarantine as a middle-aged mom.

-EG

One of my favorite things is when I discover words others, or myself, have been saying or spelling wrong. I believe this is a very comical thing to happen.

Now, Don’t confuse this with using the wrong form of your and you’re or their, there, and they’re. That is 100% not the same thing and irritating as all get out.

I think I find misusing of words is so funny because it’s like a real life game of telephone. Someone says it wrong to you, and you aren’t quite sure what the original meaning was but you have to trust that they used it right. You carry on with using the same word in the same incorrect way or incorrect spelling, and then someone finally stomps on your dreams of being a literature professor, and corrects you. You instantly think of how many people you used or spelled that word around incorrectly.

The best part? Even after correction, you are still not confident in the word so you just mumble your way through it when saying it out loud. One of my most famous misused words in ‘rearview mirror.’ I was never quite sure what the word was but I heard a bunch of r’s and ‘mirror’ at the end so I used to call it the ‘ruvierer mirror’. Obviously not a word, right? Well to me, the ruvierer mirror was the thing in the car that allowed you to look at your REAR. Wow, young Emily should have caught onto that one. It wasn’t until my parents corrected me one day that I realized I had no idea what I was even saying it wrong or what that car feature was even called. To this day, I stumble through the word. I am a college educated adult and I am still very unsure about my ability to say rearview mirror.

I have multiple words that I have said or still say wrong. When I was little, I would pronounce the word cabinets ‘cavinets’. Again, WHAT? It wasn’t until my brother got so frustrated with me that he very stirnly told me “It’s caBinets not caVinets.” Maybe utter embarrassment forces me to learn word correctly. Either way, I will never say cabinets incorrectly again.

In today’s current events, the majority of states have been under state issued quarantine for at least two weeks now. The other day on the radio, they were talking about how people were misspelling or mispronouncing the word quarantine. My favorite misspelling they mentioned was ‘corn teen’. I mean if said quickly, it resembles to correct word enough, right?

Let’s spread some laughs: what are some words you have either mispronounced or have heard mispronounced?

Stay healthy, stay active during corn teen and I hope you’re day is a good one. See what I did there?

-EG

Disclaimer: I am nervous to post today because I will be talking a lot about a valuable resource (apparently). Please know that today’s post was planned before the current societal status.

Part II of the Public Restroom Saga is here. Yeah, yeah. You can thank me later (or now. Either is nice). Incase you missed the previous installment, I discussed the utter embarrassment of needing to use a public restroom to only have the toilet creak out by the effort it is taking to hold you up. We all have shots to our confidence every once in a while, but nothing can prepare you for that one.

Today, I will discuss something that moves the marker to more of the disgusting side of public restrooms.

NOT THERE, YOU SICKO!

I am focusing on the disgust we all feel when we see wet toilet paper on the floor. Oh boy. I am just dry heaving as I write this*.

This occurrence happens a lot in the summer at swimming pools. You are having a great time in the pool, then you have to go to the restroom. Low and behold, you walk in with the smallest amount of protection on your feet, or no protection, and there is a pile of soggy, sticky, toilet paper on the ground. Now, I always have to be thankful to know that it isn’t used toilet paper, but the fact of the matter is, it is still toilet paper and it is still gross.

You immediately panic and try to pick a stall farthest away from the wet toilet paper. But you can’t get away from it. A small pile haunts every stall, and makes you contemplate ignoring nature’s phone call. After working up the courage to turn the other cheek (Pun intended?), you finish your business and exit the bathroom as fast as you can –after washing your hands I hope…

To put it into perspective on how disgusting this topic is. It took me quite a while to find a good photo for this post…BECAUSE THIS IS DISGUSTING! I thought about creating my own photo, but why would I do that to myself?

In today’s state, I feel like I have mentioned toilet paper enough to put me on some form of list. The take away from today is if you drop any toilet paper in the bathroom, please pick it up. You are only making public restrooms more of a public health concern if you allow the soggy toilet paper tower to grow.

Stay healthy!

-EG

*In case you didn’t see the many disclaimers or are clueless while reading, I am very dramatic.

What a hysteria-filled week it has been for everyone. I cannot believe the current situation we are all facing today — and what could be the next 8 or so weeks. Although I have a lot on my mind regarding COVID-19, I don’t think any more attention or hype about it will necessarily help the situation. Instead of expressing those thoughts –which don’t worry, I will save them for another rainy day–I want to try to distract my readers and talk about the real enemy of the world. Public Restrooms.

Now, if you are a detail oriented person, you may have noticed the title of this entry claims it is ‘Part I.’ Labeling something as ‘Part I’ tends to convince the reader that this could be the beginning of a series (something amazing). Your assumptions are correct. But how can one rant about public restrooms multiple times? Well, believe me, I can. If you don’t think I can, you don’t know me very well and clearly you have never been in a public restroom.

While there are many details I plan to visit in the next few entries, today’s detail of choice cuts straight to the toilet. What a miraculous piece of porcelain. If you are a hoverer* in public restrooms, then please discontinue reading as this will no longer pertain you and your advanced level of thinking. If you are uncomfortable with “bathroom talk” or uncomfortable just acknowleding day-to-day experiences, this would be the point you stop reading as well. It will not get any better. For every other soul still reading, thank you for accepting me.

Let’s talk about how the toilet seat creaks when you sit on it. 

First of all, if you start to walk into a bathroom like the one pictured to the left, TURN AROUND AND NEVER RETURN.

Anyway.

I don’t care if you use the seat covers (which, how do THOSE protect you?), or not. No matter where you are, or what stall you choose, the toilet seat is guaranteed to let out some form of a screeching noise. This allows you to know that you have made the toilet uncomfortable. Forget the part of you being naked from the waist down in a public place. Forget the part that multiple people have used that facility before. In that moment, the TOILET is letting YOU know that YOU have made it uncomfortable.

No one enjoys hearing any object groan while it tries to support their weight – i.e. exercise balls, toilet seats, your significant other, a chair. Any form of groaning, screeching, creaking is a straight shot to the confidence. Some may compare it to a razor scooter to the ankle**.

Using a public restroom is an uncomfortable situation to begin with. Once you have committed to the idea that you can no longer ignore natures phone call, the last thing you want to hear is the public toilet groan in pain as you take a seat to do something you would rather do at home. Although these groans are unbearable and almost comedic, I am here to tell you that they are normal. No, it doesn’t say anything about you. Yes, the person in the stall next to you heard. No, they don’t care because their toilet will just screech right back. Don’t draw any attention to it and you will walk out of that public restroom with your head held high and more confidence than you’ve ever had.

Okay, was that too ambitious? I guess what I was trying to say was, just ignore the toilet as everyone has experienced a weak toilet once or twice. You are beautiful, you are kind, and everyone poops. But also, toilets are gross and annoying when they groan.

Until our next bathroom talk,

EG

*Hoverer: a person who doesn’t sit on the toilet in public restrooms. These people like to neglect the option to use the toilet seat covers, and tend to be brave souls — but also germaphobes. Basically a walking contradiction. 

**Razor Scooter to the ankle: a common term used by people 30 years old or younger for a horrible experience they had growing up. If you don’t understand, find someone 30 or younger and we can show you.

We all know those people. Yes, those people who go against cultural norms, and live life against the grain. Those people who test the patience of society and their loved ones. Those who have traits that may cause people to put them in a certain ‘box’.

Yes. I’m thinking of the people who eat KitKat bars without breaking it apart before indulging. That is a kind of negative ora I do not need in my life. The jingle clearly states BREAK ME OFF A PIECE OF THAT KITKAT BAR. Is that not clear?

I might understand the confusion regarding the jingle. I don’t like to share my candy, so why would I break off a piece for someone else…however it’s like eating string cheese without stringing it (which that’s another rant within itself). If a product is MADE to be broken apart or eaten a certain way, then I highly suggest consumers abide by those rules!

What makes it worse? I fell in love with, and am engaged to, someone who does this. I know, I know. At first I was shocked I would allow this to go on. However, I guess when you love someone, you accept their tiny little quirks…even if it is something as serious and as this.

Now excuse me as I go grab a KitKat from my secret candy stash (don’t tell my fiancée) and eat it the right way.

-EG

Happy Spring, Happy March, Happy Warm Weather (hopefully)!

Today’s post is not only based on real life experiences (young kids call that IRL –in real life), but also based on observed mannerisms I have seen lately.

In today’s world* it’s very easy to compare yourself to someone else and judge someone else on choices that they have made. There are many things that people do, say, and look like, that don’t necessarily fit in the social ‘norms’ to other people. A few of these items may include dressing a certain way, eating certain foods, weighing a certain weight, drinking alcohol, not drinking alcohol, having tattoos, driving a certain type of car, styling your hair a certain way…the list could go on.

I, personally, am someone who prefers not to drink alcohol. I have seen it affect people at it’s worst, and I have been around enough people who enjoy alcohol too much that it has shown me that I don’t need alcohol to have fun. Every so often I come across some people who don’t necessarily understand my choice to not drink, and that’s okay. All I ask is that if you do drink, please do not judge me in return for my choices. It’s very simple. If you are enjoying your life and your choices, then there is no reason you should be concerned about other people’s choices.

I see a lot of shaming going on through social media comments, and judgmental gestures. Today, I challenge each and every one of you to avoid thinking one negative thing about either yourself or someone you are around. It’s amazing how one positive thought can change your day or outlook on a certain situation.

My motto (I know you didn’t ask for a motto, but you’re welcome) for any judgmental or negative thought is simple; if it cannot be fixed in 10 seconds, then don’t bring it up or judge someone on it. How someone has chosen to live their life should not change how you view them.
I’ll get off my soapbox now. Don’t forget to spread kindness!
-EG

 

*I actually hate this saying, it’s very generalizing and over used, but allow me to use it.

Whoa. Whoa. Whoa. Lois, this is not my Batman cup.

If you can guess what show that quote is from, then I will give you…some quality blogs to read. I’M BACK BABY!

What a crazy year 2019 turned out to be. So crazy that I apparently forgot to write to all my (one) followers. With 2020 already flying by, I have made it a goal to write and publish once a week. Why? Well aside from all the entertainment I provide you (you’re welcome), and the laughs I fill your lives with (again, you’re welcome), writing is actually my escape. Writing allows me to be as unfiltered as I want and lets me put my website skills and writing skills to test.

As I collect my thoughts before my next post, here are a few things that happened to me in 2019:

-I got engaged to my best friend, and I couldn’t be more excited to be his wife this June!
-We are trying to save up to purchase a home.
(Side Note: why is everything so expensive?)
-My dog turned 4.
-I didn’t write anything for my blog (you already knew that, but it did happen to me in 2019).

Now excuse me while I go take down my Valentine’s Day decorations.

-EG

P.S. In case you didn’t know, that quote is from Family Guy. Thanks, Seth McFarlane!