Disclaimer: I am nervous to post today because I will be talking a lot about a valuable resource (apparently). Please know that today’s post was planned before the current societal status.

Part II of the Public Restroom Saga is here. Yeah, yeah. You can thank me later (or now. Either is nice). Incase you missed the previous installment, I discussed the utter embarrassment of needing to use a public restroom to only have the toilet creak out by the effort it is taking to hold you up. We all have shots to our confidence every once in a while, but nothing can prepare you for that one.

Today, I will discuss something that moves the marker to more of the disgusting side of public restrooms.

NOT THERE, YOU SICKO!

I am focusing on the disgust we all feel when we see wet toilet paper on the floor. Oh boy. I am just dry heaving as I write this*.

This occurrence happens a lot in the summer at swimming pools. You are having a great time in the pool, then you have to go to the restroom. Low and behold, you walk in with the smallest amount of protection on your feet, or no protection, and there is a pile of soggy, sticky, toilet paper on the ground. Now, I always have to be thankful to know that it isn’t used toilet paper, but the fact of the matter is, it is still toilet paper and it is still gross.

You immediately panic and try to pick a stall farthest away from the wet toilet paper. But you can’t get away from it. A small pile haunts every stall, and makes you contemplate ignoring nature’s phone call. After working up the courage to turn the other cheek (Pun intended?), you finish your business and exit the bathroom as fast as you can –after washing your hands I hope…

To put it into perspective on how disgusting this topic is. It took me quite a while to find a good photo for this post…BECAUSE THIS IS DISGUSTING! I thought about creating my own photo, but why would I do that to myself?

In today’s state, I feel like I have mentioned toilet paper enough to put me on some form of list. The take away from today is if you drop any toilet paper in the bathroom, please pick it up. You are only making public restrooms more of a public health concern if you allow the soggy toilet paper tower to grow.

Stay healthy!

-EG

*In case you didn’t see the many disclaimers or are clueless while reading, I am very dramatic.

What a hysteria-filled week it has been for everyone. I cannot believe the current situation we are all facing today — and what could be the next 8 or so weeks. Although I have a lot on my mind regarding COVID-19, I don’t think any more attention or hype about it will necessarily help the situation. Instead of expressing those thoughts –which don’t worry, I will save them for another rainy day–I want to try to distract my readers and talk about the real enemy of the world. Public Restrooms.

Now, if you are a detail oriented person, you may have noticed the title of this entry claims it is ‘Part I.’ Labeling something as ‘Part I’ tends to convince the reader that this could be the beginning of a series (something amazing). Your assumptions are correct. But how can one rant about public restrooms multiple times? Well, believe me, I can. If you don’t think I can, you don’t know me very well and clearly you have never been in a public restroom.

While there are many details I plan to visit in the next few entries, today’s detail of choice cuts straight to the toilet. What a miraculous piece of porcelain. If you are a hoverer* in public restrooms, then please discontinue reading as this will no longer pertain you and your advanced level of thinking. If you are uncomfortable with “bathroom talk” or uncomfortable just acknowleding day-to-day experiences, this would be the point you stop reading as well. It will not get any better. For every other soul still reading, thank you for accepting me.

Let’s talk about how the toilet seat creaks when you sit on it. 

First of all, if you start to walk into a bathroom like the one pictured to the left, TURN AROUND AND NEVER RETURN.

Anyway.

I don’t care if you use the seat covers (which, how do THOSE protect you?), or not. No matter where you are, or what stall you choose, the toilet seat is guaranteed to let out some form of a screeching noise. This allows you to know that you have made the toilet uncomfortable. Forget the part of you being naked from the waist down in a public place. Forget the part that multiple people have used that facility before. In that moment, the TOILET is letting YOU know that YOU have made it uncomfortable.

No one enjoys hearing any object groan while it tries to support their weight – i.e. exercise balls, toilet seats, your significant other, a chair. Any form of groaning, screeching, creaking is a straight shot to the confidence. Some may compare it to a razor scooter to the ankle**.

Using a public restroom is an uncomfortable situation to begin with. Once you have committed to the idea that you can no longer ignore natures phone call, the last thing you want to hear is the public toilet groan in pain as you take a seat to do something you would rather do at home. Although these groans are unbearable and almost comedic, I am here to tell you that they are normal. No, it doesn’t say anything about you. Yes, the person in the stall next to you heard. No, they don’t care because their toilet will just screech right back. Don’t draw any attention to it and you will walk out of that public restroom with your head held high and more confidence than you’ve ever had.

Okay, was that too ambitious? I guess what I was trying to say was, just ignore the toilet as everyone has experienced a weak toilet once or twice. You are beautiful, you are kind, and everyone poops. But also, toilets are gross and annoying when they groan.

Until our next bathroom talk,

EG

*Hoverer: a person who doesn’t sit on the toilet in public restrooms. These people like to neglect the option to use the toilet seat covers, and tend to be brave souls — but also germaphobes. Basically a walking contradiction. 

**Razor Scooter to the ankle: a common term used by people 30 years old or younger for a horrible experience they had growing up. If you don’t understand, find someone 30 or younger and we can show you.

We all know those people. Yes, those people who go against cultural norms, and live life against the grain. Those people who test the patience of society and their loved ones. Those who have traits that may cause people to put them in a certain ‘box’.

Yes. I’m thinking of the people who eat KitKat bars without breaking it apart before indulging. That is a kind of negative ora I do not need in my life. The jingle clearly states BREAK ME OFF A PIECE OF THAT KITKAT BAR. Is that not clear?

I might understand the confusion regarding the jingle. I don’t like to share my candy, so why would I break off a piece for someone else…however it’s like eating string cheese without stringing it (which that’s another rant within itself). If a product is MADE to be broken apart or eaten a certain way, then I highly suggest consumers abide by those rules!

What makes it worse? I fell in love with, and am engaged to, someone who does this. I know, I know. At first I was shocked I would allow this to go on. However, I guess when you love someone, you accept their tiny little quirks…even if it is something as serious and as this.

Now excuse me as I go grab a KitKat from my secret candy stash (don’t tell my fiancée) and eat it the right way.

-EG

Happy Spring, Happy March, Happy Warm Weather (hopefully)!

Today’s post is not only based on real life experiences (young kids call that IRL –in real life), but also based on observed mannerisms I have seen lately.

In today’s world* it’s very easy to compare yourself to someone else and judge someone else on choices that they have made. There are many things that people do, say, and look like, that don’t necessarily fit in the social ‘norms’ to other people. A few of these items may include dressing a certain way, eating certain foods, weighing a certain weight, drinking alcohol, not drinking alcohol, having tattoos, driving a certain type of car, styling your hair a certain way…the list could go on.

I, personally, am someone who prefers not to drink alcohol. I have seen it affect people at it’s worst, and I have been around enough people who enjoy alcohol too much that it has shown me that I don’t need alcohol to have fun. Every so often I come across some people who don’t necessarily understand my choice to not drink, and that’s okay. All I ask is that if you do drink, please do not judge me in return for my choices. It’s very simple. If you are enjoying your life and your choices, then there is no reason you should be concerned about other people’s choices.

I see a lot of shaming going on through social media comments, and judgmental gestures. Today, I challenge each and every one of you to avoid thinking one negative thing about either yourself or someone you are around. It’s amazing how one positive thought can change your day or outlook on a certain situation.

My motto (I know you didn’t ask for a motto, but you’re welcome) for any judgmental or negative thought is simple; if it cannot be fixed in 10 seconds, then don’t bring it up or judge someone on it. How someone has chosen to live their life should not change how you view them.
I’ll get off my soapbox now. Don’t forget to spread kindness!
-EG

 

*I actually hate this saying, it’s very generalizing and over used, but allow me to use it.