Public Restrooms: The Real Enemy (Edition III)

Oh hello and welcome to final inSTALLment (see what I did there?) of the public restrooms series.

My last thought doesn’t necessarily involve the toilet or using the restroom, but rather using toilet paper incorrectly.

Are you thinking: How does one use toilet paper incorrectly? Is that possible?
YES. It is. Six words: Using toilet paper as tissue.krzysztof-hepner-0FfeYo1bRxw-unsplash.jpg

That is so so gross to me.* Why? Oh, I don’t know because toilet paper is meant for your BUM?! You don’t see me using paper towels as tissue paper. I’m not using tissues as toilet paper–although that would be gross because tissues are very thin.

It is not a two way street.

Now, I understand that sometimes you are desperate to blow your nose, but I cannot physically use toilet paper to blow my nose. If I am caught without a tissue, I embrace the drainage and let it drip on my sleeve before I use toilet paper. Cute, right? I’m taken…sorry, boys.

Anyone who uses toilet paper as tissue, please prove me wrong. Please prove to me that it never crosses your mind that you’re using butt paper on your face. I’ll know you’re lying but I want to see you try not convince me otherwise.

Now I have to stop thinking about this or I am going to gag.**


*Gross enough that I had to underline my second “so”
**Have you caught onto my melodramatic-ness?

A Few of the Things I’m Thankful For

Contrary to the title…no, this is not a Thanksgiving themed blog.

So it’s not Thanksgiving or November for that fact…how do I know? No pumpkin spice. Thank god. But what month is it? December? No, The Carpenters are not playing on my Pandora…again, THANK GOD. What day is it? It can’t be the weekend cause I logged into my work computer today…I know that in about 6 days the state of Colorado will be “free” from stay-at-home orders. Free to go to businesses that might be open, but have restricted access. Can it be? Is it May?

*insert copyright free picture of Justin Timberlake*

I, for one, feel lucky to have had all this time at home. Yes, working from home and not being able to leave the house can cause you get a bit stir crazy but what’s life without a little crazy?! This time at home has given me a new hope of a new normal. A new normal of spending more time with family and being outside (I say as I write a digital blog. Go figure). A new normal of trying new recipes and enjoying home cooked meals. A new, more wholesome normal. I hope I can continue this years after we are “back to normal.”

For right now, as times are uncertain, these are a few of the things I am most thankful for that quarantine has brought to my attention:

  1. My ability to find joy in the small things. Whether it’s baking a loaf of banana bread, trying a new bread recipe, or rewatching movies I enjoyed when I was little, these things remind me that the simple things in life make you happy.
  2. Being able to have a job. I am lucky to have still been able to work from home when a lot of people couldn’t. Even though I know this job is not my career and I don’t think I will be in this position years in the future, I am thankful for the skills it has presented me and the ability to stay safe as well as an income to keep us afloat.
  3. More time with my fiancé. Yes, we live together, and yes, we are still getting married even after all this time together. It’s interesting to see someone in all the facets of their life. I love seeing and experiencing what makes people tick in the workplace and outside of the workplace. After seeing him experience the same emotions I do (hate work, then love work, want to quit, then wanting to stay in that job forever), it’s a nice reminder that I am not alone. We have had some really good talks about what we like and dislike about our current jobs and what our ideal job would look like. We’ve also learned a lot about each other and how our brains function depending on what our talents are. He is very analytical and data driven. I am very socially driven and need social interaction. That’s not always the best combination when he’s trying to focus and I’m sharing a funny story, but we are learning more about communication…and I am really starting to pick up on some non-verbals he throws out there. I GET IT, I’M ANNOYING YOU.
  4. The sunshine. This has been a huge factor in my productivity. Like most people, I am fueled by the sun and when it’s nice outside I am more driven to work, plan, and be excited. Maybe it’s because I am working towards a plan of going outside…but either way, the sun changes things.
  5. At home workouts. Working out was a huge part of my routine before the gym closed down. Luckily, I have found a way to keep my usual workouts in my routine. Like the sun, working out changes things for me. It sets my day up right and I feel like that’s the one thing I can control. I don’t have to think about anything while I workout. It’s a deep breath for my brain and I’m all about it.
  6. This blog. It might sound cheesy, but I am thankful I have a place where I can write my thoughts down. Even if no one reads this, and it doesn’t become what I want it to become, this is another deep breath for my brain. Writing feeds my soul and it’s what I truly like to do. This blog allows me to do what I really like to do because I want to do it and is a great escape from world troubles and work stresses.
  7. Technology. I know we are lucky to have technology keeping us so close. I am very thankful to have ways of communication even without being face to face with someone. Technology has also allowed me to reconnect with old friends and check in on them. Keeping somewhat of a normal social life is very important but I would just like to say, THANK GOD I can still talk to my mom every day!

Even though the world seems a little discombobulated and unsure right now, I think this time has been good for everyone to take a step back from what their lives used to be like and focus on new things. Even Mother Nature is being refreshed during this time which is long overdue.

There you have it. I’ve made a list of things I’m thankful for, I have baked my own bread and mastered a few new recipes. I have a Pinterest account and use it for inspiration. Oh god. I’m walking out of this quarantine as a middle-aged mom.


What Did You Say?

One of my favorite things is when I discover words others, or myself, have been saying or spelling wrong. I believe this is a very comical thing to happen.

Now, Don’t confuse this with using the wrong form of your and you’re or their, there, and they’re. That is 100% not the same thing and irritating as all get out.

I think I find misusing of words is so funny because it’s like a real life game of telephone. Someone says it wrong to you, and you aren’t quite sure what the original meaning was but you have to trust that they used it right. You carry on with using the same word in the same incorrect way or incorrect spelling, and then someone finally stomps on your dreams of being a literature professor, and corrects you. You instantly think of how many people you used or spelled that word around incorrectly.

The best part? Even after correction, you are still not confident in the word so you just mumble your way through it when saying it out loud. One of my most famous misused words in ‘rearview mirror.’ I was never quite sure what the word was but I heard a bunch of r’s and ‘mirror’ at the end so I used to call it the ‘ruvierer mirror’. Obviously not a word, right? Well to me, the ruvierer mirror was the thing in the car that allowed you to look at your REAR. Wow, young Emily should have caught onto that one. It wasn’t until my parents corrected me one day that I realized I had no idea what I was even saying it wrong or what that car feature was even called. To this day, I stumble through the word. I am a college educated adult and I am still very unsure about my ability to say rearview mirror.

I have multiple words that I have said or still say wrong. When I was little, I would pronounce the word cabinets ‘cavinets’. Again, WHAT? It wasn’t until my brother got so frustrated with me that he very stirnly told me “It’s caBinets not caVinets.” Maybe utter embarrassment forces me to learn word correctly. Either way, I will never say cabinets incorrectly again.

In today’s current events, the majority of states have been under state issued quarantine for at least two weeks now. The other day on the radio, they were talking about how people were misspelling or mispronouncing the word quarantine. My favorite misspelling they mentioned was ‘corn teen’. I mean if said quickly, it resembles to correct word enough, right?

Let’s spread some laughs: what are some words you have either mispronounced or have heard mispronounced?

Stay healthy, stay active during corn teen and I hope you’re day is a good one. See what I did there?