Just a Shower Thought

Greetings Readers (Hi Mom, thank you for supporting me),

I have been absent and I regret that. Please forgive me. With a the Spring season around the corner, flowers are blooming, birds are chirping and so will I. I’m going to get better about posting, you’re welcome.

Thank you for staying with me as I figure this whole thing out.

Until next time,

-EG

P.S. I don’t really know if my mom reads this because she wants to, I make her look at my page so I get views. That’s support, right?

I was recently babysitting. I enjoy being around kids, and I don’t mind children’s movies. In fact, sometimes, I use babysitting as a sad excuse to watch children’s programming.

The most recent children’s movie I watched was Moana. Which, the deep layer of character realization, and inspiration to be who you are goes right over a 6 years old’s head, BUT IT DOESN’T GET PAST ME.

So yes, I’d like to thank Disney for inspiring me. Even when they thought they were reaching out to a child-like demographic, they were really just reaching out to a child-like grown up who needs self-confirmation every once in a while!

However, I do have a bone to pick with Disney. So here we go…

Dear Disney,

I am getting really sick and tired of all your characters having perfect hair, and perfect ‘messy buns.’ WHAT IS THAT. you create cartoons, and even when your characters are fake, their hair buns come out one hundred times better than mine ever do or ever will. To put it in easier terms, Maui’s ‘messy bun’ makes me in a messy bun look like Miss. Trunchbull from Matilda*; and that’s ON A GOOD DAY!

So please, stop making messy buns a pipe dream for me.

Thank you. Forever jealous of cartoon hair,

EG.

 

*If you do not know what Matilda is, you are too young and I am ashamed of society. Matilda is a great movie made in 1996, and it will change your life.

 

Don’t forget to be kind and rewind.

An open letter to the people who post pictures of their texting conversations on the internet:

I like a good meme or GIF…but the one thing I absolutely cannot bare are the text conversations pictures or screenshots of home-screens for that matter. You all know what I’m talking about; the screenshots of the conversation bubbles trying highlighting a funny response or an auto correction fail.

Don’t get me wrong, I love a good laugh from a meme on the internet. However, the texting screenshots have GOT TO STOP. This is not 2010 anymore (accurate timeline? Probably not, but that is not my point and just move on from this, cause I will too).

The idea behind the picture is funny, and I honestly really do understand the purpose. The only part that is very difficult for me to wrap my brain around is how in EVERY SINGLE picture, the ‘receiver’ —or person who posted the picture— always has 100+ unread messages. I know this because of not only my incredible mind power, but that damn little notification bubble up next the back arrow on the upper left hand side of the screen is all lit up like a freaking campfire in the middle of a dark forrest.

I just have a few questions for these conversation wizards:

Does this not BOTHER you?

Does that little notification circle BOTHER you?

How do you have so many unread messages? The only way I could get that amount of messages is if my mother was so mad at me she threw herself into a blind rage.

Are these compulsive texters your friends?

If anyone out there can answer these questions for me, please do…because obviously I have nothing better to worry about in my life and this is also literally bothering me to the point of no return.

Those pictures make me want to scream, and to all the people who post those pictures and have copious amounts of unread messages, I have one message for you:

YOU BOTHER ME.

Do not even get me started on people who label their contacts weird names.

(Was that foreshadowing to my next post? Tune in next time to see)

I really love this time of the year.  Holiday music, holiday decorations, and watching holiday movies is my idea of the perfect day at home. I am not one for going out to malls to shop a lot during the holiday season. I prefer to order my gifts online —because I am lazy and why would I go to the store, if I can get it from Amazon in two days. Now, the holiday season always makes me feel so thankful and blessed. I feel blessed all year round; I’M NOT HEARTLESS, but this year, specifically, I have felt uber-blessed.

Blessed for a healthy life and family. Blessed for being able to go to work, and having a home to go home to at night. Blessed for being able to afford gifts and shop online. But most of all, I feel I am blessed for living in a state that is towards the front of the alphabet.

It may not seem like such a big deal, BUT think about how much time I save when I am online shopping and instead of scrolling all the way down to Vermont, Virginia or Wyoming, I  only have to scroll to the C’s, to get to Colorado, and most of the time I don’t even have to scroll. What a blessing it is to have my laziness be so catered to.

The only way to describe it, is that I feel #blessed

(I used a hashtag, am I trending yet?)

I like animals. I grew up in a pet-free household (except for fish—because they don’t shed or poop on the carpet), but as I got older and I was around other people’s pets more often, I don’t mind them. I would definitely say I’m more of a dog person than a cat person. Cats and I need too much individual attention and I don’t need that kind of competition in my life.

The more I am around animals, the more I realize that they are actually really gross.

Exhibit A: a dog is let outside to go poop, then invited back inside, to then proceed to go sit on your couch or blankets WITHOUT WIPING THEIR BUTT. Um….could you imagine if humans didn’t wipe? *gags* Gross. What makes dogs so special that they don’t need to wipe? I think we need to put flattering knickers on dogs or create a nice little sanitizing spray for them to walk through on their way back inside. It would only be fair, I cover my butt AND wipe it…meet me half way here, canines!

Exhibit B: They don’t brush their teeth before bed or in the morning. Talk about HOLY DRAGON BREATH. Now, yes, I do know there is such a thing as doggie toothpaste and toothbrushes. However, a lot of the toothpaste is chicken, or some type of meat, flavored. How does that create fresh breath? Could you imagine if humans used garlic flavored tooth paste? No one would ever get past the first date….but that would be a great way to start population control..

Now excuse me while I go find a dog to cuddle.

Stay sanitary, everyone.

-EG

Do you come here often?

Thank you for making it this far on my site, you deserve a cookie. I would like to explain how this blog became about. We all have some of our best ideas while we are either in the shower, or laying in bed. One of my brilliant ideas –and I believe it has been the best one yet, was to create a blog that talks about all my shower thoughts and other people’s too. This is NOT a weirdo site where all I talk about is showers and weird things, and if you are looking for that, I apologize for letting you down… but not really.

I would like to warn you, as the reader, you will become knee deep in sarcasm…so my advice would be to roll those pants up! Pop a squat, put on your reading glasses (no judgement), and enjoy.

Cheers.

-EG