Canines, Please.

An example of how dogs don’t understand the idea of a personal bubble.

I like animals. I grew up in a pet-free household (except for fish—because they don’t shed or poop on the carpet), but as I got older and I was around other people’s pets more often, I don’t mind them. I would definitely say I’m more of a dog person than a cat person. Cats and I need too much individual attention and I don’t need that kind of competition in my life.

The more I am around animals, the more I realize that they are actually really gross.

Exhibit A: a dog is let outside to go poop, then invited back inside, to then proceed to go sit on your couch or blankets WITHOUT WIPING THEIR BUTT. Um….could you imagine if humans didn’t wipe? *gags* Gross. What makes dogs so special that they don’t need to wipe? I think we need to put flattering knickers on dogs or create a nice little sanitizing spray for them to walk through on their way back inside. It would only be fair, I cover my butt AND wipe it…meet me half way here, canines!

Exhibit B: They don’t brush their teeth before bed or in the morning. Talk about HOLY DRAGON BREATH. Now, yes, I do know there is such a thing as doggie toothpaste and toothbrushes. However, a lot of the toothpaste is chicken, or some type of meat, flavored. How does that create fresh breath? Could you imagine if humans used garlic flavored tooth paste? No one would ever get past the first date….but that would be a great way to start population control..

Now excuse me while I go find a dog to cuddle.

Stay sanitary, everyone.


2 thoughts on “Canines, Please.

  1. Blog Lady 77 March 26, 2020 / 5:23 pm

    Honey, I’m with you. I think they’re precious too, but they would NEVER let one sit on my couch, or God forbid, sleep in my bed, for the reasons you mentioned. Seriously, think about it. They drink out of toilets, lick themselves, and then they want to lick you. Nope. Never. Nada.

    Be a house pet? Perhaps. But for me, that would mean with their own beds, their own bowls, and rules. It makes me cringe when I see people pick their dog bowls up and pour the water IN THE KITCHEN SINK. Later those same people wash dishes and lay the dishes they’re washing in the same nasty sink until they pile up enough to rinse them.

    Why not simply fill the water bowls in the bathroom sink? Why not teach dogs that they are animals (although beloved ones, I get that) and that their place does NOT include butt-down on the furniture.

    Don’t EVEN get me started on cats walking on kitchen counters after they’ve been in their litter boxes.

    Love is blind … I get that. Little doggies and kitties are cute … I get that as well. Dog lovers use the rebuttal that ‘dog sphincters are much tighter than humans so that makes it okay’. Then there’s that whole issue of doggies ‘anal glands’ that need to be ‘popped’ periodically and if they’re not the smell is atrocious.

    I think your comparison to humans and babies is sound. We don’t let our children run around smearing diarrhea all over the furnishings. We as humans appreciate the need to observe sanitary conditions. (Exhibit A: The Great Toilet Paper Shortage of 2020.)

    I do, however, know a couple of pet owners whose dogs DO have their backsides wiped with doggie wipes after they poop in the yard. I also know one woman who bathes her dogs a couple of times a week.

    To me, it’s that licking and intermingling utensils that gets to me. There’s an article on (written by a vet) that states that microbiology tests show that we cannot get the water hot enough (outside a dishwasher on sanitize cycle) to kill the germs found in dog bowls. Those are said to include EColi, Salmonella, and more.

    Love the cute things, but as long as I have any autonomy over my environment, it will be dog-saliva free and dog-bottom free on anything higher than three feet high.

    Oh yeah, by the way, my one friend has special soft blankets that she keeps over the dog beds and they get washed and dried in a hot dryer and kept fresh at least three times a week. She also has a IRobot vacuum for the pet hair. She sleeps with her dog in the bed as well, but she washes her sheets and bedspreads a couple of times a week as well.

    To each his own. I wish no disrespect to pet owners who may read this. I’m just speaking for myself. And those sanitary standards apply to people as well.


    • EmilyG April 6, 2020 / 2:49 pm

      Hi Blog Lady 77,
      Thanks for your comment and thanks for reading my post! To each their own, I guess. Especially with pets!
      Have a great day,


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