I like animals. I grew up in a pet-free household (except for fish—because they don’t shed or poop on the carpet), but as I got older and I was around other people’s pets more often, I don’t mind them. I would definitely say I’m more of a dog person than a cat person. Cats and I need too much individual attention and I don’t need that kind of competition in my life.
The more I am around animals, the more I realize that they are actually really gross.
Exhibit A: a dog is let outside to go poop, then invited back inside, to then proceed to go sit on your couch or blankets WITHOUT WIPING THEIR BUTT. Um….could you imagine if humans didn’t wipe? *gags* Gross. What makes dogs so special that they don’t need to wipe? I think we need to put flattering knickers on dogs or create a nice little sanitizing spray for them to walk through on their way back inside. It would only be fair, I cover my butt AND wipe it…meet me half way here, canines!
Exhibit B: They don’t brush their teeth before bed or in the morning. Talk about HOLY DRAGON BREATH. Now, yes, I do know there is such a thing as doggie toothpaste and toothbrushes. However, a lot of the toothpaste is chicken, or some type of meat, flavored. How does that create fresh breath? Could you imagine if humans used garlic flavored tooth paste? No one would ever get past the first date….but that would be a great way to start population control..
Now excuse me while I go find a dog to cuddle.
Stay sanitary, everyone.