Thanks, Disney.

I was recently babysitting. I enjoy being around kids, and I don’t mind children’s movies. In fact, sometimes, I use babysitting as a sad excuse to watch children’s programming.

The most recent children’s movie I watched was Moana. Which, the deep layer of character realization, and inspiration to be who you are goes right over a 6 years old’s head, BUT IT DOESN’T GET PAST ME.

So yes, I’d like to thank Disney for inspiring me. Even when they thought they were reaching out to a child-like demographic, they were really just reaching out to a child-like grown up who needs self-confirmation every once in a while!

However, I do have a bone to pick with Disney. So here we go…

Dear Disney,

I am getting really sick and tired of all your characters having perfect hair, and perfect ‘messy buns.’ WHAT IS THAT. you create cartoons, and even when your characters are fake, their hair buns come out one hundred times better than mine ever do or ever will. To put it in easier terms, Maui’s ‘messy bun’ makes me in a messy bun look like Miss. Trunchbull from Matilda*; and that’s ON A GOOD DAY!

So please, stop making messy buns a pipe dream for me.

Thank you. Forever jealous of cartoon hair,

EG.

 

*If you do not know what Matilda is, you are too young and I am ashamed of society. Matilda is a great movie made in 1996, and it will change your life.

 

Don’t forget to be kind and rewind.

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